Resonating Words #1 - Can We Keep The Honeymoon Effect Alive?
Updated: Oct 4, 2017
Time to play a little game. Can you find a a way to categorise the following subjects?
Terrorist attacks - amount of depressions - human population - divorce rates - CO2-emissions.
Correlating all the subjects together would probably result in some kind of arbitrary statement that "the increase of terrorist attacks has made the human population progressively depressive, resulting in skyrocketing divorce rates with more CO2 emissions as a consequence." Although we could make this arbitrarily formed statement resonate with some good sense of humour, let's aim for something more distinct.
Making use of statistics as a tool, we could confidently say that all those subjects have exploded, or imploded, in the last decades. After taking into account some numbers from Eurostat, the one standing out in the list are the divorce rates.
"Some 2.1 million marriages and 943 thousand divorces took place in the EU-28 in 2013, according to the most recent data available. These figures may be expressed as 4.1 marriages for every 1 000 persons (in other words the crude marriage rate) and 1.9 divorces for every 1 000 persons (in other words the crude divorce rate)."
Whether want it or not, this affects all of us in the fact that it makes us question our belief and faith in marriage or long-term relationships in general. It stands out as something we might all have more impact on if we would bring more awareness to the matter. Or as expert John Gottmann recently said: "Every marriage is a mistake. It's about what you do with the mistake."
'... more awareness to the matter.'
How aware are we in our relationships? What does it mean to be 'aware'? Why should we practice awareness?
Bringing awareness to our relationships is the core subject where Bruce H. Lipton expounds upon in his book The Honeymoon Effect.
"Human beings are designed to bond, whereas our drive to bond trumps our drive to procreate."
If we wish to satisfy our deeply ingrained drive to bond and create meaningful long-lasting relationships with each other, Bruce suggests to trust our gut. Present ways of living and scholing systems have learned us to override our feelings with the rational mind from when we were young boys and girls. Instead, we should actually take advantage of our innate gift of intuition. These energetic signals evoke in us the ability to sense good and bad vibrations in the blink of an eye.
Vibrations? Yeah right...
Haven't you encountered a situation where you thought of a person you didn't speak to in a while and suddenly you receive a call from that very person?
Going forth on the ancient wisdom of Egypt, who previously spelled out The Cosmic Law of Causation, and current research in quantum physics, not at all. The most important lesson involving human conduct and interaction is seen in the Cosmic Law of Cause and Effect. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Every human thought, word and deed is a Cause that sets off a wave of energy throughout the universe which in turn creates the effect whether desirable or undesirable. The fundamental principle of quantum physics implies 'non-locality' or the fact that once quantum particles interact which each other, their mechanical states remain coupled, no matter how many miles apart they're. So, whether you want it or not you're constantly creating you own reality with your thoughts, deciding upon what you bring into your life or what you drive away.
Think of your thoughts in analogy with a tuning fork. Through constructive interference, your thoughts will energise your life experiences that are resonant with the images created in your mind. You can create the life vision you want by making sure that the thoughts you broadcast reflect exactly what you want to bring into your life.
Some exciting plans tomorrow? I'm sure you do! Visualise one thing on your to-do list, and play the scenario in your head how you want this experience to be for you. How will you act? Will you smile or cry? Are you going to be honest or lie? Drift away in this short visualisation for 2 minutes. Do it now.
When two people fall in love, a magical blending of love potions takes place, resulting in an extraordinary bodily feeling of euphoria. The entire world smells like roses all the while you're flittering around with that inexhaustible smile. From a biochemical point of view, love is all about potions or neurochemical hormone cocktails. These potions explain our moods, anxiety, loss of appetite and the euphoria that comes with human love.
On the other hand, it must be clear that this neurochemical orchestra plays the songs that the dirigent, our mind or nervous system, imposes. It all starts by taking responsibility for our body with the right nutrition, supplementation and adequate physical exercise to make sure the musicians inside us have the best instruments and correct scripts to produce the right sounds. Nevertheless, as mentioned before, it is our mind that is in charge of what will happen. Therefore, focus on your mind, because biochemistry matches perception, or in other words, perception is reality. It was Dr. Joe Dispenza who recently took it a step further in his latest manifesto, You Are The Placebo, stating that our personality is our personal reality.
Now that we have fallen in love with each other through magical blend of love potions, how can we sustain this feeling of 'The Honeymoon Effect' ? Or, why do we lose it?
The answer can be found in the tremendous task of having to deal with four minds instead of two, as Bruce mentions in the forth chapter of his book titled, 'Four minds don't think alike.' In each one of us resides a conscious and a subconscious mind. The former is our creative mind that acts as the seat of our personal identity and can look into the past and future, because it's not bounded by time, in so far that time is real. The latter is our habitual, record-play mind where all our behaviours are stored that are primarily derived from observing and downloading other people's behaviour. It's with the correct use of our conscious mind that we can integrate awareness in our daily life and act upon our desires and wishes. In modern Western life we hardly take time to stand still and observe our thoughts. If we would, we would find ourselves burdened with thoughts of dealing with the routine of everyday life. As a result, our conscious mind relinquishes our presence in the now, upon which we start acting from the conditioned programs stored in our subconscious.
To put things into perspective, let us go back in time to the moment we learned how to drive a car to obtain our permit. The first time you turned on the engine, you were entirely focused on the experience, taking into account all your own actions or manoeuvres, instructions from the driving instructor and all other external stimuli like oncoming cars, road signs or perhaps a deer crossing the road, who knows. One thing can be said for sure, you were present in that moment. There was no time to think about what you were going to have for dinner tonight, how much you hate your boss or worry whether you'd be able to pay your mortgage or not. A simple comparison with our current 'awareness' while driving shows us how our subconscious mind has taken over acting upon acquired information, deluding ourselves.
This exact same situation takes place in our relationships. Initially, we're 'blinded' by love potions, seeing all the good in each other, but soon our conscious mind becomes burdened by the routine of daily life, upon which we start acting from the conditioned behaviour patterns downloaded into us from birth, and probably even in-utero. Everyone of us downloaded the criticism of our parents, unaware of sentencing their child into a life feeling unworthy, into our system where it formed the beliefs we have about ourselves until today.
This has lead us to an epidemical confusion between Real Love and Fish Love, thinking that 'we give to those who we love', but the real answer is, 'we love those to whom we give.' - as formulated by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. Can we than, alter our paradigm of Fish Love to a conscious 'mirror contract', instead using the other person as a vehicle for our own gratification? This would imply an increased compassion and understanding of our inherited wounds from the past, by not taking the behaviour patterns from our partners as a personal attack, but by acting as a mirror for each other, shining light upon our acquired conditioning. This might be the challenge of our epoch.
Wait a second... "Morpheus, what're you doing in my article?"
"I came to offer people a choice, son," said Morpheus.
"Alright, what choice are you talking about?"
"Well, this is your last chance... After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. But remember, all I'm offering is the truth."―Morpheus, to Neo; The Matrix.
The purpose of presenting you this information is to help you realise how powerful you really are. Knowledge is power, and with this knowledge you’re empowered to create the life and the relationships of your choosing from NOW on.
Live and enjoy the fact that you’re the creator, not the victim of your life.